This has nothing to do with anything but in describing someone this morning I said, “She’s younger and would probably be a great choice.” (No, it wasn’t about employment so don’t start throwing discrimination accusations at me —- Oh, is that just me? Well, that’s what 20 years of law practice will do to a person). Anyway, my mind did freeze right after when I realized the person I was describing is in her early 30s, which I always considered the perfect age because you’re old enough to not be completely idiotic, but not too old for anything and all your skin still fits (unless you’ve recently given birth to a half-grown toddler as I had but still, everything is still mostly in the right place). Now that age is a decade behind me, and I’m referencing those people as ‘younger.’ *sigh* When exactly did I get old? And why don’t I have everything all figured out by now? And to add insult to injury, it’s an inexcusable paradox that I can simultaneously have grey hair AND pimples.
It doesn’t help that I’m older than Jodi. Mind you, it’s one month and 29 days older. You’d think, though, that I was robbing the cradle with the way she and the Divine Miss M refer to me as the Senior Citizen of the house.
Neither of the individuals I live with are very helpful to my self-esteem.
Now, back to what I was saying, or was going to say, rather, before I got distracted by my elderly status:
We’re very excited of course but oh my gracious, the planning part can really suck the soul out of a person, can’t it?
It’s a bizarre rite of passage, I think, because even though we’ve been together for years now, we’re learning a lot about each other. Or, I’m learning a lot about Jodi. For example, she’s
freakishly surprisingly traditional. And this has made for some interesting developments in the course of planning the wedding.
I loathe doing anything in front of a crowd – large or small, friends/family or strangers – doesn’t matter, I don’t like it. Jodi, on the other hand, is completely at ease in front of people. This distinction is difficult to accommodate in a somewhat coordinated event for a ‘couple.’
For example, she wants us to be ‘announced’ when we walk into the reception. I assume this will mean all eyes will turn to us. Why, oh why, is this custom necessary? Don’t people attending a wedding and reception already know who just got married? And if they don’t and have instead just crashed it for the free food and drinks, then they’re not interested in us, anyway.
Also, she wants us to do the whole ‘first dance’ thing – so that we’re alone on the dance floor. ‘Only for a minute or so’ she says, as if this is supposed to put me at ease. Alone, in front of everyone, and dancing, which I won’t do under normal circumstances, even if Uptown Funk is playing, unless there is a sizable crowd already on the dance floor.
God, just kill me now.
The ONE area where she would like to buck tradition is the vows, which is of course the one area where I want to embrace it (minus ‘obey’ because yuck). I want to say the traditional (minus obey) vows. She wants us to write our own …. so that we can have MORE to do and say while standing in front of a crowd of people.
On the other hand, my only real concern is that the reception be like a party. I really, really want everyone to have fun and dance, especially since most of them are traveling quite a distance to attend. I am ridiculously anxious that it’s going to instead be stilted and awkward, like junior high dances, where music plays, the dance floor is empty and people are just sitting uncomfortable and stiff, trying to smile and embarrassed at how badly it’s going.
However, regardless of the tortuous traditions through which Jodi is going to insist on dragging me, I never lose sight of how lucky I am to marry this woman. Especially when we have text conversations like this one while I was at Starbuck’s today:
Me: There is a conversation happening at the next table about Jesus and this one is a little weird.
Jodi: As many Starbucks Jesus conversations tend to be.
Me: I just laughed out loud. They probably think the Holy Spirit is upon me … or that I’m possessed by a demon. It could go either way, really.
Jodi: True on both counts. That or they think you’re having your own Starbucks Jesus conversation, perhaps the Starbucks Jesus they cannot see …
Me: Oh, then they’ll be inflicted with that pesky sin of envy
Jodi: True. Just look at the trouble you have caused.
I would write more but we’ve yet to make final decisions on food for the reception so, I should be looking at those options; not to mention deciding what in the world we’re going to wear.
Until the big day gets here, I shall work on keeping this in mind.